Where and How to Seek Help When Motherhood is Feeling Tough.
In the first part of this blog series “Shining a light on Perinatal Mental Health: Recognizing when to seek help” we chatted about all the signs and symptoms to look out for when it comes to common perinatal mood disorders anxiety and depression. If you haven’t read it hope over HERE and have a read. It is so important to equip yourself with this knowledge and awareness for both youself and friends and family that might struggle. Knowing the signs can help you to access early support and intervention when you or someone else needs it.
But when you do decide things are tougher than you’d expected or your concerned about someone you love where do you go and who do you talk to?
Well hot dang thats exactly what this here bloggie will help you with today. Part two is all about giving you all the options and information you need to get support and make it easier to be held in this time of your life.
Who to contact:
General Practitioner.
Your GP is usually the place to begin. Finding an understanding one is important, perhaps try seeking out someone with a perinatal interest who is well versed in dealing with new and expecting parents.
Prior to heading to your GP it can help to make sense of your own symptoms by filling out the 21-item Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Scale or whats more commonly referred to as the DASS-21. This is self reporting questionaire that’s designed to measure emotional states of depression, anxiety and stress. It can really help you get clearer on the difference between what is anxiety and what is stress and give you a simple starting point for a conversation with your GP.
In Australia is can help to book a double or longer appointment with your GP which will allow for you and them to do the Better Outcomes Mental Health Care Plan if you both decide this is something that would support you. It also gives you time to go through your history and discuss your symptoms fully.
In Australia the GP mental health care plan provides up to ten subsidised mental health care appointments with a suitable support provider. However if your psychologist or mental health care worker believes you need more than this there is flexibility to get some more when these are all used.
Your GP will usually refer you to a psychologist or mental health social worker who specialises in working with mothers of young infants. You are more than welcome to bring your own suggestions to be referred to if you’ve done some research or have some recommendations or your GP will usually know someone.
Acute Mental Health Services
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby this is usually referred to as an acute episode and is nothing to be ashamed of, things can become overwhelming and do so very quickly. In these instances skip the GP and contact Lifeline (13 11 14) or your local Acute Mental Health care team who can provide you and your family with immediate support.
Finding the Right Mental Health Support Team for You
Finding the right person to support you can take time. If the first person you meet doesn’t feel right you can ask your GP to refer you on to someone else. Just because you didn’t vibe with the first person doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there who will understand you. Finding the right mental health care support is vital for both you, your therapeutic relationship and your treatment so don’t give up at the first hurdle.
If there is no one who fits the bill locally the joy that came out of the Covid era is that a lot of providers now provide support via zoom or telehealth so you can even look further afield for the right person.
It can help to ask around your friends and family network for recommendations. Or reach out to someone you trust online in your area for ideas (aka ME!!).
It really helps to find someone trained and who specializes in the perinatal period. This is such a delicate and unique time that not all providers understand. Having someone with the understanding of exactly where you’re at and what you are going through is priceless.
Supporting yourself in the meantime
Getting things in place may take a few days or weeks but there are ways to support yourself in the meantime such as:
Talk to a friend or find a community online: Finding someone you trust and who your able to share openly and honestly with can help enormously. Sometimes just talking about things can reduce the charge and intensity of your feelings.
Remember what brings you joy: Don’t wait till you feel better to do things that bring you joy or make you feel connected. It can be really hard to go out for the walk or catch up with friends when your feeling down. But doing it anyways despite the resistance can surprise you when you suddenly feel a little lighter afterwards.
Get outdoors: When you feel overwhelming feelings it can make you want to retreat and hide away. Nature is a balm for our souls and even just 30 minutes outside each day has been shown to boost the feel good chemicals in our brains and bodies. Can you encourage some time out in nature each day?
Eat real food: Looking after yourself and making nutritious meals can get on the back burner when you have a baby. There is a huge connection between what we fuel ourselves with and our mood. Even a nourishing food delivery service can help support us in this time, take the pressure off having to cook and clean and keep you fueled with goodness.
See a Naturopath: Research shows that there is a correlation between vitamin and mineral deficiency and some mood disorders. It can help to get a full check on your thyroid function, iron levels and even hormonal profiles.
Smiling Mind:
Asking for a friend:
If you’ve noticed a friend struggling in their transition to motherhood or concerned that they might need some support dont hesitate to ask them directly if they are doing OK.
Most of us lack a unjudgemental ear or place to be honest. There is such comfort that comes from a listening ear and a friend willing to sit through it all with us.
You can send them this blog series and let them know you’re there for them. If they need someone to come to the GP offer to go along with them. Sometimes all it takes is someone asking for them to open up.
If In Doubt Reachout
Reaching out can be the hardest step. Admitting that things are more difficult than you want them to be can be nerve wracking and it might be the first time in your life you have ever asked for help.. But there is absolutely brilliant support out there that can make a huge difference to you and your family once you are connected to it.
There is no shame in struggling, we all at some point in life do so. Motherhood is no easy feat and in ways society has you set up to fail, but you do not have to do this alone.
List of resources:
Here is a comprehensive list of perinatal mental health services you can contact in Australia should you feel called:
