How to not be a dick to a breastfeeding mama.
My friend was breastfeeding in a garden centre when a stranger approached her, said “he’s looking straight at me!” and reached into her pram, pulled out a t-shirt and placed it over them. She was flabbergasted. So I put out a question to our community- has anything like this ever happened to you?!
Well, holy guac. As it turns out, people can be real dicks when it comes to breastfeeding mothers. Some are just naive; some ignorant; and some just plain rude. There is so much misconception about what is normal, and a complete misunderstanding of the concept of breastfeeding.
Here are some of the corkers that came through from our Mama Matters Insta-Community:
“An elderly lady once shook her head at me and said “disgusting”. I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.”
“First time out with bubs, someone complained to staff that I was breastfeeding in public.”
“My parents (who I love!) often tell me “enough is enough” and it’s time for me to wean my 2.5yo.”
“My cousin said “you aren’t going to still be breastfeeding when he’s a grown man and shouting “bitty” are you?”
“My husband’s cousin put a blanket over me while nursing when my baby was 2 months old.”
“Had old women shake their heads at me even though I was covered up.”
“My mother-in-law said that my baby was ‘clearly’ not getting what she needed from my milk.”
“I had a family screaming at me from outside the car because I was breastfeeding my five week old.”
“Mother-in-law said it’s time to switch to formula when I had to cut dairy from my diet for my baby.”
“My Mum keeps saying to switch to formula because my five month old still wakes in the night.”
These ones were the crowd favourites:
“My mother-in-law said it’s selfish of me to breastfeed because no-one else can feed my baby.”
“I was told to respect others and feed my baby in a toilet.”
Guys, this isn’t even all of them.
I have so much to say about the way in which breastfeeding is viewed and treated.
When did we fall so far away from nature, that breastfeeding in public is inappropriate? I am hesitant to even say ‘in public’. It’s just breastfeeding.
Why do we think it is okay to judge, shame and blame mothers just for feeding their babies in a way that works for them? Whether that is breast, bottle or mixed?
I also know that there are plenty of offensive comments and experiences that our bottle feeding mamas have experienced too.
It’s just not bloody okay.
I hope that our future generation of grandparents and great aunties (i.e., us) can be a little more mindful of how our words land with mothers.
I hope this has been helpful! If you want a second date, here's how we can work together:
Peruse my ready-to-go recorded workshops
Want to level-up your parenting and sleep game? Pop over to Mama Matters Academy
For sleep or motherhood support, check out my 1:1 services
