Jess Urlichs on Messy Motherhood, Creative Writing and Parenting a Highly Sensitive Child
In today's episode we chat to Jess Urlichs. Jess is a beautiful mama and author whose words reach far and wide as she shares her vulnerable, heartfelt words through her Instagram account as well as her poetry books. Jess' words have resonated with so many and bring communities together in the real, raw, honest accounts of motherhood.
Jess Urlichs is a poet and children's book author based in New Zealand. Aside from looking after her 3 and 4 year old (with one on the way) Jess found a passion for writing and sharing about the highs and lows on early motherhood. In turn Jess self published an early motherhood poetry collection which has sold over 50,000 copies worldwide and created a beautiful and honest community on instagram of like minded mums who are here for the messy beautiful truth of motherhood. We chat about: Having babies a year apart Parenting a highly sensitive child Creative writing and where she is most inspired Ambivalence in motherhood and sharing vulnerability Her family’s sleep journey Drawing on mindfulness in the hard nights Her advice for mothers seeking a space for their own creativity
Here’s where you can find Jess: Instagram: @jessurlichs_writer www.jessicaurlichs.com
Hey Mama, I have a Sleep Guide for you! For birth to 18 months, this guide is steeped in evidence and laced with compassion. And you can download the first chapter absolutely free HERE.
Are we Insta pals? If not, why not? Come and hang out at @mamamatters.au!
As always, thanks for being here- if you enjoy this poddy I would LOVE if you could give a rating and a review. It means the world to me.
xx
TRANSCRIPT
Fiona Weaver 00:09
Hello love and welcome to the Manage chatters podcast. If you're keen to ditch all of the parenting shoulds and want to uncomplicate sleep and parenting, you are in the right place, through honest conversations with experts and each other, we will help you to cut through all of the noise and to love the heck out of your imperfect and authentic parenting. I'm Fiona, a social worker by trade. Now supporting families with sleep and parenting through my business mama matters. I'm passionate about parenting psychology, biologically normal infants sleep and infant mental health and attachment. I'm also a parent and I am on a mission to normalise the shitshow that can be parenthood. I know that right now you might be trapped under a sleeping baby. Or maybe you've got your headphones in to soften the blue of the afternoon witching hour, wherever and whoever you are. I want you to know that you belong here. Now, let's have a chat Hello, my love. I hope you are well. I am speaking with Jess earlyish today. I think that's how you say her name. She is a poet and children's book author. She is from New Zealand and she's a bloody legend. She has the most beautiful words the most beautiful poems. I started following her on Instagram years ago when she first started I think now Lockwood ago she's got 200,000 plus followers. She's got books published on you know her motherhood, poetry as well as children's books. She's got another children's book on the way she's just a powerhouse and is doing so many amazing things for mothers. Aside from looking after her three and four year old with one on the way just found a passion for writing and sharing about the highs and lows on early motherhood. In turn, she self published and early motherhood poetry collection, which has sold over 50,000 copies worldwide and created a beautiful and honest community on Instagram of like minded moms who are here for the messy, beautiful truth of motherhood. If that's not aligned with our work at MAMA matters, I don't know what it is. In this episode, we do chat about having a highly sensitive boy, we have one of those age. So I just wanted to let you know that if it is something that resonates for you, or it is something that you would like to explore, please get in touch or have a crack at my temperament and sensory preferences workshop on my website, because that gives you a good insight into whether you have a highly sensitive child or whether you are a highly sensitive parent, and how parenting can look different for those that are one. So enjoy our chat. saying welcome Jess, thank you so much for being here.
Jess Urlichs 03:10
Thanks for having me.
Fiona Weaver 03:11
I am so excited to chat to you. Because I have been admiring your work from afar for so long ever since you started on Instagram. I think I have been there along for the journey. And your words, just touch so many and have such an impact. So I feel really, really, really honoured to have you here.
Jess Urlichs 03:29
Thank you and likewise to you.
Fiona Weaver 03:31
Thanks. So do you want to just start off by letting us know who you are in? Who's in your family?
Jess Urlichs 03:38
Sure. Okay. So I'm Jess, I have two young ones, they are three and four. I have one on the way. I'm an author. And I have an early motherhood, poetry collection as well as a couple of children's books out at the moment, too.
Fiona Weaver 03:59
So we were just talking about the fact that you have a three and a four year old and my mind is blown.
Jess Urlichs 04:07
everyone's mind is blind.
Fiona Weaver 04:08
No. And I'm one of those conversations that everybody has as soon as you say it, and you get sick of talking about it, but can you just tell us about that?
Jess Urlichs 04:18
I always feel like I kind of need to go into it with a boat. We planned it straightaway. Because that's normally the next question that comes out when I say oh, they're just over a year apart. So many people were like, oh, and then they're like, did you plan it? Actually, I did. But then I'm like, but you know, we kind of we wanted to have them close together because we only wanted two at the time. So my thought process and my husband's was actually really practical. We were kind of thinking, oh, we'll have them both close in age and then that way, I don't need to go back to work for you know, just a year to then have another where we're just you know, trying to think of getting all of the stages done at the same time and rip it off like a band aid. You We didn't actually think about the logistics of having two babies. And I think as well, like I mean, I can't compare it to twins at all, because I don't know. And I can imagine that would be absolutely hectic to actually I can't even imagine. But one thing I found really difficult with having them spaced out a year apart was the fact that the different stages they were at and how quickly they go to the next stage, like think, starting solids or leaps or, you know, like they did develop mentally changing so quickly in that first year, to keep up with two and that juggle, and then supposedly make time for yourself. It was really a struggle. And of course, the sleep that was that was tough. Yeah, for sure.
Fiona Weaver 05:43
Yeah. But I'm just thinking because, you know, in my experience, I don't think I had the mental space to consider another child until my first son was about 18 months. This is my son, who was quite intense reactive, all of that. So it's really interesting for me to hear that you were thinking about it for months in, or must have been even earlier than that, like, how was your transition to motherhood?
Jess Urlichs 06:09
It's interesting for me to even reflect back on it because when I talk about those early days postpartum with Harry, it was really difficult because we had, I mean, you probably know from following me and my journey, but we had some troubles, some big troubles with breastfeeding. And that was, that was really hard for me to get past that, draw that line in the sand and switch to formula. We battled with that, and I battled with the guilt took a long time to forgive myself, it shouldn't have. But this is just you know, what I was going through. And I also experienced a lot of postnatal anxiety as well. And it's funny because yeah, anyone would think oh, okay, so then why did you want to go back and have another one so quickly? It was a very practical decision, I thought, to be honest, I thought if I wait too much longer, I might change my mind. Not at all. Because it was, it was really tough. But I knew that I really wanted to, like we knew that I really wanted him to have a sibling. That's just what we wanted. The other thing is that Harry was highly sensitive. And he's since been diagnosed with sensory processing and dyspraxia, but that's, you know, much further down the track at the time, I knew that there was something unique, special, whatever you want to call it, those early days are very challenging with a highly sensitive child, especially if you don't know what being highly sensitive even is. I didn't know. Yeah, I discovered that much later. And so that was really hard. And I think we only really started to discover that more around the time I actually got pregnant. So they were like, they would definitely challenges having them close in age. But when we sort of got through those challenges, and the sleep started to get a little bit better, and I kind of came out of the fog a little bit. And it was really special and amazing. And like watching them now and this bond that they have, and they're like best mates, the best mates who you know, want to tear each other's heads off, but it's so beautiful. Exactly, but it was really, like it weren't lying. sugarcoat it, it was challenging, but it's something I'm really glad that we did.
Fiona Weaver 08:29
Yeah, that's awesome. Because I yeah, I mean, we think about now there's three years between our two. And even then, when I did get pregnant with my second, I was kind of like, Oh, are we ready for this? Like, I just feel like, you know, we've just got married and we're enjoying a little bit of freedom, because you know, our son could stay for sleepovers, and nanny and Poppy and things like that. But now, we kind of wish would have three. And now it feels like do we want to go back there again. So now I'm saying all of those signs I never ever saw why people would want them so close together. And now like, I get it, I get it now because I feel like that ship has sailed for us. But now I kind of want more of them. But I don't particularly want to raise them again.
Jess Urlichs 09:15
It's that's the rising part that gets you I mean, they're all great, but then you got to raise them. And yeah, you're not just raising a baby, you're raising them into an adult, you have to have enough emotional and mental capacity to raise them too. It's it's a lot. There's a lot to consider. And we deliberated on that for a good year. I'm deciding on whether we have a third, it was just you know, the heart wants what it wants, but we again, we're very practical about it. And we did decide that we could do it and we could make it work. But I know like there's going to be a three and a half year age gap between my youngest in this baby it'll be closer to four years actually. And I mean, I'm okay with it, but I know that there will be some challenges, you know, there's gonna be school pickups, Candy pickups, baby's gonna come along for the ride. It's gonna be, there'll be a few logistical issues. But people do it, don't they, they do it,
Fiona Weaver 10:08
people do it and it will look so different to that first experience you've had, it will be so nice to have those really vast, vastly different experiences.
Jess Urlichs 10:17
I think so. And I think like one thing, even now that I'm noticing is has to be shorter has that, that connection that Harry and Holly have with this pregnancy? Like, they come up to my belly in the morning and say, Good morning, baby, and they feel for kicks in. It's really special. Yeah, that's really
Fiona Weaver 10:35
sweet. So tell me a little bit more, if you want to talk about your experience with Harry being highly sensitive, like, how did you begin to see that? Or, you know, in hindsight, what did you see?
Jess Urlichs 10:49
I guess, it started off with me just feeling like I had nothing to compare him to, of course, he was my first but he just was very high needs. Sleep was pretty atrocious. He was very reactive to loud noises or sudden noises, even sudden movements. I mean, the moment that he was born, he was looking around the room like he, we always described him as an old soul, incredibly acutely aware of everything. And as he grew older, his emotions, the regulating of emotions was a real big one. And I mean, like, I knew that that's, that's a very common thing for any young child to regulate their emotions at such a young age. But I just knew in my heart of hearts that something was a bit different. Yeah, he needed that extra help. But he was too young to really get that, that helps. So we had to kind of just muddle through a little bit with what we kind of knew was different. And I jumped on Instagram of all places, followed some amazing accounts. That's how I realised that he was highly sensitive, I just started to do a lot of reading up about it and ways that I could support him. Sleep was a really big trigger for him, if he had a day nap, and he woke up from that day nap. It would always be tearful, and it could take maybe half an hour to get him out of it. So we couldn't really go anywhere. That was tough. Socially, it was hard. It was just it was really hard. And I think a lot of parents didn't kind of understand. I mean, I didn't even really understand. And so finding parents who, I guess were a bit more tolerant, and understanding that was really key. And my first year because I was really nervous to take him places and to go anywhere with him. Yeah, so that was difficult. Yeah, yeah, I
Fiona Weaver 12:51
can definitely relate to that story with my own as well. And I always say that, if I had known who my son is now, or even more, so what he was like, as a toddler, if I had known, that's who he was, when he was a baby, I would have parented so differently. I mean, I think instinctively I was parenting in the way that he needed, but I was feeling a lot of guilt and shame about it, because he just needed so much more than the other babies. And I would try to, you know, push him by trying to pass him around to other people or take him to places that I knew would overwhelm him. But I would do it anyway. Because you know, you can't not do anything. So, yeah, it's a bit it's a bit of a learning experience. And it's so validating, isn't it when you come around the other side, and then you're like, oh, that's who you are. That's why you were like that as a baby. That will make sense now.
Jess Urlichs 13:41
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, it is very validating. And I think as well like, one thing that we we did with her, I remember, we took him to a concert when he was really little, the wiggles concert. And I knew that it might be overwhelming for him. I was fully prepared to leave. But I thought oh, well, let's just try. I mean, even now. And it was it was an absolute nightmare. He was beside himself, I felt awful we leave straightaway. So what we do now is if we go out and there might be like, a mascot type character during a performance in the city or something will just take a wide berth, but he'll he'll still be you know, in that vicinity, he'll see it he'll hear the loud music and he has come such a long way. But we haven't forced him into the situation. It's kind of like he's just been teetering on the border of those situations. So he has the control. He can see other children enjoying it. But we're never like, Oh, look at those kids. They're enjoying it. I mean, he's smart enough to put two and two together. But it's about what he's comfortable with. So that's been a learning curve for us to shutting out the noise from parents saying you've got to do this and you've got to push them to try this lightweight. So you know, we'll let him decide when he's ready. And we'll just support him.
Fiona Weaver 14:52
Absolutely. Yeah, he sounds exactly like my son when I took him to a Play School concert. And he was about one I think I can't remember but It was just a nightmare. And I was just sitting there like, throwing my hands up in the air, like, what am I supposed to do? He was just crying the entire time and the photos and videos I have him he was scared as anything, he was so overwhelmed and was just totally triggered fight or flight. And then by the time I ended up, you know, surrendering to the fact that he wasn't having as good a time as I was at the Play School concert, took him outside and he was just so regulated it for him, it's the same sort of thing, like when you're saying you would take him, you know, a wide berth something performing in the city. That's what would be good for our son as well not being closed in and completely inundated with those sounds and the visual stimuli as well. But to be outside to choose how involved he gets. Yeah,
Jess Urlichs 15:48
yeah, well, we actually found birthday parties quite difficult as well. I mean, as soon as they would start to sing happy birthday, I would just cringe on the inside, because I knew that it would set Harry off. He didn't like everybody singing in union. Now he loves it, you know, now he enjoys it, and he sings along. But I could tell you back, you know, two years ago, I never would have thought we would be where we're at now. Then I never pushed him into anything. I never gave him a big lecture afterwards and said, You know, I just I never did any of that. He just on his own accord decided one day, actually, I kind of enjoy this now. And I'm gonna get involved. And he pushed himself out of his comfort zone. I think they're just really, really bright kids, they assess for risk, they question everything. And they do things on their own time.
Fiona Weaver 16:38
100% that is another story. That is like my own like, Knox was so scared his third birthday party that they were going to sing happy birthday to him. So I had to prep everyone. He doesn't want to be sung Happy Birthday to and then someone started singing and he just cried and cried. And we're outside. It was nice, you know, low key environment. And then I was like, he doesn't want to he just doesn't want to it's not going to make him feel special. fourth birthday party, he was up there singing with everyone else. Yeah,
Jess Urlichs 17:09
it's amazing, isn't it? It's such a proud moment as well, because we know how far they've come.
Fiona Weaver 17:14
Yes. And especially when there's been no pushing. You know, you've been attuned to where they feel safe and, and following their lead on that. Okay. So I would love to know about your history with creative writing. Because you write the most beautiful poetry. I have one of your books here. I need all of them. But I'm going to, it feels like it's one of those books that you would buy to a new mom. All of the new moms that you know, are going to come into the realm of motherhood. So do you want to speak to your history with writing? When did you start did it does was it sparked in motherhood? Or was it before that? Or how did it all come down?
Jess Urlichs 17:51
It was before that when I was five, pretty much as soon as I could pick up a pen and write I had this little pink glittery poem book. And I wrote, I think I wrote my first proper poem at maybe six or seven. And my teacher loved it so much. She read it out at her wedding. I was so proud. And I'll have it somewhere. But it'll be in storage. Now. I can't it was something about doves and love and you know. Yeah. And then I continued doing that for a few years, I filled up boxes and boxes full of little diaries and poetry books and stuff. So I've always had that love for writing there. And then I guess just as I grew older and started high school, and then in our life got busy and had a social life, I just stopped writing. And then fast forward all the way through to motherhood and going through postnatal anxiety and just sort of feeling like I was in a bit of a slump with everything. It was actually my husband who just sort of suggested that maybe I start writing again, but a little differently. He's like, why don't you start an Instagram account and start posting your content on there. And like, you know, if no one finds that that's okay, but it's an outlet for you. And it seemed a bit weird to do at the time like to write and share with people. But actually, it was so cathartic, because I started to follow a lot of other amazing writers that gate like just gave me so much like inner strength and permission, I guess, to share and they were Validating my feelings. And I was like, Oh my God, what an amazing community this is. So that's just kind of how it started. And so that gave me the confidence to, you know, share a bit more openly and honestly. And then just over the course of a year of doing that. Just one of my followers suggested one time they said, Look, if you had a book of poetry, I'd totally buy it. And I thought, Oh, really? That's okay. I? And then I saw I thought, Okay, well, I'll just do it. Because the worst thing that can happen is that only my family and friends by it, but I was really surprised. Like, that's yeah, it's ended up in a lot of mums homes, which is really cool.
Fiona Weaver 20:17
Well, I'm not surprised. But I can imagine that would feel really surreal to have everybody reading your work on a coffee table.
Jess Urlichs 20:25
Yeah, it's really, it's really special, I get some really beautiful messages. So I'm really happy that I have. I took that plunge and did it. And it is hard, though it is hard in the early days to even find the time to do something like that. But it's rewarding if you can. Well,
Fiona Weaver 20:42
that was what I was going to ask as well. Because I think that in those early days of motherhood, we can feel so consumed and overwhelmed and exhausted, is that when your creativity suffers, or is some of your best work from those times,
Jess Urlichs 20:58
some of my best work even that way, which is really weird. Some of the poems that I have written, that have done the best, with resonating with people have been ones that I've written when I've been incredibly sleep deprived. And they've been like, either in the bath or when I've been breastfeeding. Or when I've just had like, 10 minutes alone. And you know, husbands just walked in the door, I said, I just need to check out. And, you know, luckily, I can do that sometimes. But they've not really they've never really been when I've like because now I have a lot more time with the kids being at kindy I actually have that time that I can carve out and write. But I find that it's a lot harder to do that when you carve out time.
Fiona Weaver 21:46
Yeah, I was gonna ask that because I feel like I even with just content for my business and stuff. If I carve out content. I mean, if I carve out time to create, it doesn't happen. It needs to be spontaneous. And I was wondering if it's the same sort of thing for you.
Jess Urlichs 22:02
It is. And the thing is, I have had to carve out time to do comission writing because this started off as a passion and it's turned into a business, but I haven't let it get to the point where it's become so structured, that it's taken away my love and passion from it. Because the spontaneity of writing is what I enjoy the most when inspiration strikes when I least expect it. And obviously, I don't get the time when that happens to sit down and just write because I'm usually busy, or I'm with the kids or something's happened. And that's why the inspiration has come to me. And so I'll just jot down in my phone and then pick it up later on when I can. But yeah, because it has turned into a form of income. I guess like probably what a lot of, you know, business savvy people would say is that I should be batching my content. And I should be, you know, for planning my posts. And I just I never do that. I just post when I feel like I just Yeah, I don't want to take the love away from what I do. Because I have to remember why I started doing this in the first place.
Fiona Weaver 23:06
And why did you start doing it in the first place?
Jess Urlichs 23:10
Just because I enjoy it just because I love it. And it's cathartic. And it's been a way to connect with people. And I find that if I am batching content, and I am for planning. I just feel like I'm losing that connection.
Fiona Weaver 23:23
Yeah. 100% agree with you. It takes away that authenticity, doesn't it when you feel like you have to create for the sake of creating.
Jess Urlichs 23:31
Yeah, and I think a lot of people like they might disagree and what like whatever works for you, of course, but I'm still at the stage now where I'm really enjoying this, and I don't want to see it too much is like, I have to do this today, or I really should be planning this. It's kind of like, as soon as I start thinking that way. I just yeah, my brain goes somewhere else. And I'm like, I don't want to do it.
Fiona Weaver 23:54
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. One thing that I noticed that you speak so well to is the ambivalence in motherhood. Is that something that feels important for you to you almost raise awareness around like be really vulnerable and raw about holding the good alongside the bad?
Jess Urlichs 24:12
Yes, I think so. Purely because when I first jumped onto Instagram, I felt this real sense of like you had to be you had to show that you were happy all the time and thriving and grateful, and that everything was perfect and blames. Yeah. And I just I think that's what added to my anxiety actually in the fourth trimester is that because, you know, I mean, it probably was normalised. Maybe I was just following the wrong accounts at the time, but for me, it didn't feel like it had been normalised. And if I had just seen maybe a little more raw content. I guess I just wouldn't have felt so alone in my feelings, and I would have felt more connected. I also think you've Got to find that balance, though. I mean, you don't want to just be talking about the hard times either because the the beautiful times are so beautiful, they will always overshadow the hard times. But I honestly think you can talk about both. And it can be hard and just as you wanted, it doesn't have to be like, This is so hard. I hate motherhood as like, this is so hard. I love motherhood. But this is so how can we talk about that and normalise that? Yeah, yeah. So I think it is important.
Fiona Weaver 25:25
It's definitely important, I think you do it so well, like I was just reading a few of your poems before, before we hopped on the call. And a lot of them are about sleep as well. And those those hard nights, but it's your work is so much deeper than this is really hard. But I'm so grateful and blessed. It's so much more than that you're sort of being really mindful in that this is a hard moment. And also look at your tiny little toes. And you know, it's it sort of invites a little bit of mindfulness where we might not often have the strength to pull on that ourselves.
Jess Urlichs 26:00
Well, your athlete journey was really tough. But we chose to go with the responsive approach. And I think one of the one of the things that really helped me continue along that journey was finding the little pockets of beauty and and there's so much easier said than done when it is to in the morning or three in the morning. And you've already been up a few times, and you're already thinking about that next morning, and how you're going to face the day. Like I get that when I write these pieces. I'm thinking back, but when I like I'm thinking back now, but that's my first book. And so when I wrote those pieces, I was in the thick of it. So I think maybe that's why when when people read those pieces, they do feel a connection, and they resonate, because I was there. It's it can be different sometimes writing and reflecting back as opposed to writing when you're actually in it.
Fiona Weaver 26:48
Yeah, absolutely. What was your sleep journey? Like?
Jess Urlichs 26:53
It was hard with the two being a year apart because of one work, the other work, but luckily, you know, I had drew my husband who was very responsive as well. And so we would just take team at, but I mean, I remember some nights where we just would be up for hours on end. It was just, it was just hard. Perry wasn't breastfeed. Yeah, he wasn't breastfeed from Think about, I can't remember it might have been two months. So Drew could help there. But he couldn't really do much with Holly. Yeah, she was breastfeed. So we were just hired. There was a lot of sleeping on the floor. And they didn't sleep with us, because we did try that. But they just, they just want to. I don't know what that was about. They, I mean, they do now. But when they were younger, they just didn't want to borrow but they thought it was party time.
Fiona Weaver 27:46
I hear that a lot. How do they sleep now? Three is three and four, almost four and five.
Jess Urlichs 27:52
Yeah, no, they're a lot better now. Holly will go to sleep. And then at about 930 or 10. She'll wake up and sort of wander into our room will wander to the couch because we'll be out watching TV and then I'll take her into our room and I just can't be bothered fighting it. We did try and get her to sleep in her bed. She is so stubborn. That girl. And then we tried to get her to sleep on a floor bed and our room. She wasn't having a bath. So we didn't close. No, it wasn't close enough. All she wants to do is just be in between us. And then Harry, he's fine. He will just drift off on his own. I usually sit there with him or I'll stand at the door. But then he'll usually wake at about two in the morning or can drool end up in his bed. So it's musical bids still. Yeah, I love it. But we are okay with it.
Fiona Weaver 28:41
Yeah, yeah. It's musical beds in our house too. Well, musical beds for the kids. We just stay where we are. But there's usually one or two children in between us by the time I wake up.
Jess Urlichs 28:53
I just wish we bought a super king. It's just not big enough. Yeah, I
Fiona Weaver 28:56
know when we've got the king but I mean, if you get the super king, will there be any floor space left like that? I know. That's the thing. Yeah. Probably don't need them. Just fill it up with beds. It's funny when what happened when we had zali we didn't feel comfortable her going into their room until after she'd had a adenoids and tonsils out because he had sleep apnea. And then Knox didn't want to be in there by himself. So while that right, I turned there, we've got a two bedroom house, turned their bedroom into my office brought both their beds in. So they each had their own bed in our bedroom. So we had our king bed and then Sally's bed was alongside ours and Knox's was at the foot of our bed. We actually had no floor space. It was just a room full of beds. It's so funny to look back on.
Jess Urlichs 29:43
Do you do and you're not the first person who's actually told me that when I when I share these sleep stories sometimes on Instagram, I'll get these messages and a lot of people bought beds into the rooms as well and that's just and they still do that and that's just what's worked for them and I honestly think whatever works, I just couldn't be To hear them cry, it just wasn't something that we wanted to do. We did try and sleep train one night because of that pressure and everyone telling me I was making a rod from r&b, you know, you know how it goes. And I thought, Okay, we'll give it a go then couldn't do it. So this is just this is a path we've chosen, and we're happy to do it. I do wonder though, what's going to happen when this one comes along? I just I don't know how that's going to work. We've got a co sleeper bassinet. I wonder if Holly is going to be put off being an air room with the multiple wakeups. So we'll say is
Fiona Weaver 30:37
she sensitive to that? Like would she wake up when the baby because I didn't wake up? Hey,
Jess Urlichs 30:43
if she's in the bed, she might, but then again, she's baby obsessed. I mean, me having this like giving her a little sister, currently is the best thing that has ever happened to her. So she might be really amazing. I know Harry wouldn't leak through and she can do the work. That'd be great. But um, ya know, Harry wouldn't have a barrel. But yeah, I'm not sure what will happen with Holly. Yeah, yeah,
Fiona Weaver 31:09
just one of those things that just you just have to go through it to work it out. It will evolve simply, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I am wondering if, if a mother is listening to this, and she has this desire to harness her creativity. And I hear this all the time that moms are so consumed by motherhood, they are like, how, though? How do I even have space for that? How do I start, what would be your advice to her? Whether it's writing or drawing, or, you know, dancing, whatever that creativity looks like.
Jess Urlichs 31:47
I would just say, just to try and start sometimes starting is the hardest thing. And it can feel like you have absolutely no time. But you will find little pockets of time. And you can just start out small, just just for something honest and true to you. I can only speak to writing, I don't know how long it would take to start painting, I can't paint to save myself or do any of that type of art. But I just remember how much but I felt like I had done something for myself. That was my form of self care. So I would say that, if you have that kind of like actual that burning desire to create, then you need to make time to do it. And sometimes it does mean unfortunately, staying up there a little bit later. Or not watching that episode of Netflix, I just think you'll feel so much better for doing it. So I would say just start and and just see where it takes you.
Fiona Weaver 32:46
Did you ever do regular journaling or anything like that to get the juices flowing? Or is that not really been your vibe?
Jess Urlichs 32:53
No, I've actually never apart from just my little wee kid diaries. I've actually never done journaling. Interesting. I've got like notes and notes and notes on my phone of half Russian pieces that most of the time I never look at again.
Fiona Weaver 33:08
Yeah, I have that too. I have so many notebooks full of things like very great ideas. Just get drawn all over by my three year old probably. So what's on the cards for you? Where can people find you? And what's coming up next for you? I know you have a children's book now.
Jess Urlichs 33:27
Yeah, yeah. So I've got I've got the rainbow of my heart, which has been out for the past year, which is a more of a toddler as well. Three, I guess two to seven. Book on emotions and colour and rhyme. The next one coming out is called my superpowers. It's more aimed at children who are school age. And it talks more about non cognitive skills, things like teamwork and persistence and empathy, skills that children will use every day, but it talks about its colour and rhyme again, but it sort of talks more about the situations they might find themselves in where they want to use those skills. There's a parent section in the back as well. So it's another resource book. I haven't actually shared this yet, but I'll share it now. Anyway. Very excited about this one. Yeah, exclusive to you. Yeah, next year, I've got a little hardback gift book of poetry coming out with artwork alongside it, who you hang the Mon which I'm
Fiona Weaver 34:32
really excited about seeing how
Jess Urlichs 34:36
I just saw the final app the other day for that, so I can't wait to share that. So you can find me on Instagram, and Jase earlyish. And then my website links are all there as well.
Fiona Weaver 34:48
Awesome. Well, it's been so so lovely to talk to you. Thank you for all of the work that you're doing for mothers everywhere. You're an absolute gift. So thank you.
Jess Urlichs 34:56
Sorry, you. Thank you.
Fiona Weaver 34:58
Thanks, Jess. Thank you so much for listening to mama chatters if you enjoyed this episode, let's continue the conversation on Instagram at MAMA matters.au. Be sure to share this app with your family and friends and don't forget if you liked it, please leave a rating and review wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you again and I will see you next time.
