Six ways to nurture infant mental health
It’s Infant Mental Health Awareness Week this week, and as an advocate for babies - I am taking this opportunity to speak up for little people.
The term ‘infant mental health’ really refers to the social and emotional development of kids from infancy to about 3 years old. The emphasis is on building and nurturing attachment relationships, because this is the context in which your baby’s brain is being built.
Today we are looking at six ways that you can nurture infant mental health in your family, or support clients and friends to do the same - because, the foundations we lay in infancy matter - and imagine a generation of humans with a secure attachment and healthy social & emotional development?!
Respect
Babies are born complete little humans, not a blank slate that we can write a story on. Our babies have their own unique innate temperaments, likes and dislikes and the deep desire to connect with loving caregivers. When we respect infants as people (which sounds silly, but sometimes we treat them as less-than-humans), we send the message that “I see you, you are important, and I am here for you.”
Respond
Responding to our infants cues as best we can, in a timely and sensitive manner, are the building blocks for a secure attachment. Recognising our babies cries as proximity seeking behaviour, and flexibly experimenting to work out what they need, will help our kiddos to feel safe and secure with us. We aren’t going to get it right all the time - which brings us to our next point!
Repair
Rupture & Repair, mamas. Ruptures in our relationships with our infants are inevitable - whether it be trying to put them to sleep when they’re trying to tell us they’re hungry, picking them up when they want to explore, or maybe even we lose our shit and yell in the middle of a testing night… when we focus on the repairs, we teach them that ‘even though Mum isn’t perfect, we are okay - she understands me better than anyone else.’
Delight
All infants have a need for someone to delight in them for who they are, not just what they do. Delight is, I think best described by the twinkle in your eye when you are enjoying their company - they see this, they feel this, and this is the foundation of healthy self-esteem. Engaging with our infants by talking, singing, touching, watching - is all contributing to their social and emotional development.
Co-Regulate
Infants do not have the neurological capacity to soothe themselves down from a place of heightened stress - whether it be sadness, anger, fear, or even excitement. It is up to us, as the grown-ups, to help our kiddos to regulate their emotions by being with them in all of their feelings. When we regulate FOR our infants, and then regulate WITH them as they get older, they will eventually internalise and be able to regulate for themselves.
Wonder
Simply coming alongside your infant, watching them interact with and explore their world, and wondering about their feelings, thoughts and motivations- can be a great way to boost connection and improve infant mental health. ‘Wait, watch and wonder’ is a therapeutic intervention in attachment therapy and just staying present and aware can be a wonderful way to improve our reflective capacity. This allows us to be able to reflect on our kiddos’ inner world and respond to ways we think they may be feeling as opposed to only seeing outward behaviour.
If you want to learn more about infant mental health, you can head to the following websites:
Australian Association of Infant Mental Health
Parent-Infant Foundation
https://parentinfantfoundation.org.uk/
The Circle of Security Parenting program is based on years of research on attachment science and builds on the relationship between caregiver and child. You can join our next group here.
